Crush Depth

The crushing weight of grief and hurt

almost steal my breath

with it's biting pain of rejection and loss.

A one-two punch that leaves my heart bleeding

with hopelessness a choking darkenss

both smothering and a beguiling promise

of ending the pain.

But God says I must keep going,

even as I choke on the blood

pouring out from my savaged wounded heart.

What worth can I possibly have

to the God of Heaven,

when I have no worth to any one here.

Apologies for leading you in this sad descent;

and I am sorry that I have darkened the day,

but the tears are literally tearing themselves

out of my eyes against my will,

as total darkness falls

and the inner screams begin.

(c) R. Franklin

 

The Beckoning

I wake to the sound of birds

and a light peeking through the curtains.

Both sound and sight beckoning me to indulge

in the gloriousness of the the day to come.

The sky a winter shade of blue;

the air crisp, but not yet cold;

a tiny hit of green still hidden

from all but the most observant;

and a Sun that offers to warm

everything it can touch.

I rise with excitement and energy

infused from the joyful birds and beautiful light,

then hit the wall;

made of mud and grief and unbearable reality.

There is nowhere new to explore,

and even if there were, there's no money to get there.

Worst of all, what would be the point,

when there is no one to share the adventure.

In a blink, the world that held such promise

becomes a 2 sided blade

that slices with it's false promise.

So, I pull the covers back over my head

drift into comforting memories and future illusions

and the world once again fades to black.

(c) R. Franklin

 

Echoes

 

The problem is not that I hate my life.

My life on Earth is not so bad.

I have a home and a reliable car.

I have food to eat and never go hungry.

I have a dependable job that is better than many.

I make enough money to pay all of my bills.

I am saved by Grace and Mercy of the living God and

          He claims me as His own.

I am the bride of Christ who loved me so much he

          took my death to save me.

I can see and hear; I can feel and touch; I can taste

          and smell the world around me.

I am able to move and walk and climb without assistance.

I can read and write and do math and science.

I can hug and be hugged and I can speak and sing.

I can be serious and I can be silly.

I can be passionate or turn cold.

I can ride a horse or a motorcycle, even if not as well

          as in my dreams.

I can think and hope.

I can rhyme as the mood strikes.

I can feel all the ups and downs of the roller-coaster world we live in.

But;

 

There is something inside me that rages and sobs for the things

          I don’t have.

Something much deeper than conscious thought, beyond the

          open places in my mind.

Something that does not want to wake in the morning.

It knows what I have, but despairs for what I have not.

Something that lives in the deepest place in my soul and it’s

          whimpers heard loudest in the night when the world is still,

          but not confined only to the darkest hours.

Something that feels broken and worthless;

Cast away rubbish that no one wants.

It cries out in the darkness with tears and pleading; sometimes

          just begging, but always a prayer.

Still trudging forward, it’s lost echoes unanswered, the last

          hope now faded through the long empty night.

 

12/07/23

RaF

Fade to Gray

Brilliant colors start to fade
Sharp clear sounds grow dim
What once was clear begins to blur
What once brought joy, now grim.

The world was never what you thought
No hearts were ever true
The cutting pain of opened eyes
Now dulled to empty blue.

What once was hope in future joy
Like faith, has gone away
No more dark and lonely thoughts
Just endless shades of gray.

There's nothing left but empty dreams
No anger, joy, or pain,
Just an endless dreary sea of gray
A life lost in the rain.

Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern


All of our lives, from the the cradle to the grave

we are taught that we're the heroes;

of our story as it unfolds.



We are taught that our lives are determined by our choices,

if we are true to ourselves,

then the our story will unfold like in all the old tales.



But that is a lie we create in the dark

to give ourselves hope

and focus of purpose.



We are not the heroes battling for Justice

we are not even the main characters

of this cosmic play.



Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

believing we have purpose as we drift through the story

only minor characters waiting in the wings.



Never realizing the depths of our own unimportance

until we're disposed of, unseen and off stage.

Merely a footnote at the end of the play.



Rebecca

Choices

I come into your presence here
With shattered heart and soul
At the end of all I am
Longing to be whole.

All the wisdom of this world
Leads to an empty grave
You alone my only hope
You alone can save.

So Father, now I come to You
Forgive my doubts and fears
Forgive the sins I’ve held so long
Forgive my wayward years.

Save me from the emptiness
Lift me from this strife
Fill me with your presence
Holy Spirit, Take my life.

Breathe your breath of life in me
Make me something new,
Change my heart and fill me with
Desire for only You.

God of Glory, Hope, and Joy
Mercy , Peace, and Love
Take my life and make it Yours
Fill me from above.

Rebecca Franklin07/27/10

Heartbeat

In a single heartbeat the truth is reveled.
The bonds of love and friendship fall
Like luminance raindrops of shimmering glass
With soundless explosions they shatter on the ground
Filling the air with the buzz of countless shards
Shooting into their target of soft tissue and bone
Not strong enough to kill, but leaving no place untouched
When the last tear falls there is only the darkness
That eats at the broken and bleeding soul
With punctured lungs and still beating heart.